What Will I Be When I Grow Up?

Lately, I’ve been asking myself that question a lot — maybe for the past few months, maybe for the past year.

I used to picture myself as that girl — the one with the beautiful, slightly wild garden. The one who knew everything about herbalism, apothecaries, and the old magic of plants. I wanted to be the person who lived and breathed that lifestyle, surrounded by green things and glass jars filled with herbs I actually knew the names of.

But here’s the truth.In the last year, I got married. I became a mom for the first time. I work a full-time job. I take care of my family. And somehow, I still try to carve out time for this hobby that brings me peace — even when I’m running on caffeine and chaos.

I’ve never really been what people would call “normal.” I’ve always been the random girl who likes the weird and wonderful things — from paranormal investigations to making bone art on the side. And now I’m supposed to be the boring mom with the garden?

Yeah… that’s not happening.

After a lot of reflection, I’ve come to realize a few things:

1. I’m not a master gardener — not even close.

2. I love weird plants and I can’t pretend otherwise.

3. I struggle to grow things just like everyone else — maybe more so.

   
   

So, instead of pretending to be something I’m not, I’m leaning into who I am.

Over the next few weeks, I’ll be launching The Not So Master Gardener Podcast, available on Spotify and anywhere you listen to podcasts. It’ll be a space where I share my love for plants, herbs, and all things wonderfully strange — from forgotten herbal lore to odd bits of history that connect us to the natural world.

I’ll also be bringing that same energy to my blog — writing about weird herbs, quirky gardening adventures, and the messy, magical process of learning as I go.

Because the truth is, I don’t need to be perfect to belong here.I just need to be me — the not-so-master gardener who’s figuring it out one plant (and one weird story) at a time.